May 20, 2011 by polishsnausage
Hello, and welcome to the first installment of Meet The Author! We all decided to give you a chance to learn a bit about us. First up is probably my most favorite Canadian, Marda Miller. I want to thank her for being my personal guinea pig and for being so incredibly awesome in answering my ridiculous questions. I had to admit, I had a lot of fun–probably more than what is allowed–asking her, and I was moved to fits of snort accentuated laughter at her answers.
So please, pull up a chair, grab your mug of coffee or tea, and get acquainted with Marda.
HeartOnSleeve: Hello, Marda! Thanks for being our first victim in Meet The Author, and for being a part of HeartOnSleeve. Marda…that is such a lovely name. So tell me: why do you live in Canada?
Marda Miller: Thank you. I resented having a unique name growing up but have since realized it is what makes me cool – something akin to being a super hero. I live in Canada because my parents decided to move here and eventually the government gave me a green card. They haven’t kicked me out yet so until I marry a French man and move to Paris, Canada is home.
HOSR: What’s that movie called with Andie MacDowell and that Gerard Depardieu and it’s about getting a green card?…Anyway, moving on. Marda, do you ever write in the nude?
MM: No … but since you brought it up, I will continue responding to these questions with no pants on.
HOSR: I appreciate your lack of pants. Speaking of not wearing pants, I know you’re a huge hockey fan. What’s that like?
MM: Hockey is like a boyfriend: it can be incredibly satisfying, easy to get attached to and sometimes, it makes you want to throw things at the TV when it does not comply.
HOSR: I need to watch more hockey, apparently. So, do you prefer writing on a computer, or in long hand, or do you secretly have another author locked in your closet that writes your stories for you?
MM: I had a house elf, but he escaped and took all my notebooks with him so now I just use my laptop. It’s been working out alright; we seem to get along.
HOSR: A house elf? This makes this next question a bit awkward, but what the hey: What are the most important attributes to remaining sane as a writer?
MM: I wouldn’t know; sometimes I think writing makes me crazier than I already naturally am. But it’s in the name of creativity so I just accept it. I imagine though that meditation and yoga would both be some kick ass sanity inducers.
HOSR: I take back my previous comment. Crazy is good–this kind of crazy, anyway, otherwise, I’d not have asked you to be a part of HeartOnSleeve. Now, a semi-serious question: What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given, writing-wise or other?
MM: Never make a plan B for your life because there is a high probability that you will fall back on it. Instead, take risks because it’s better to try something and not succeed, than to never know what you could have been.
HOSR: I like that. Very wise, Marda. Must be a Canadian thing. Terrible segue: Tell me, are you jealous of other writers?
MM: Not at all – I relish in the success of others; it actually motivates me to be better. I am a little jealous of my toaster though.
HOSR: My waffle iron and I are swiftly becoming mortal enemies. Breakfast time is a war zone at my house. Anyway, I digress. I’m curious; if you were to commit a murder, how would you do it? (this information may or may not be given to the proper authorities, FYI.)
MM: Well … were I to be in a situation that required me to take such a menacing action, then I probably ended up falling back on my Plan B for life and became a sniper. Alternately, I would be likely to pour vodka down someone’s throat until they drowned.
HOSR: Ooh! I like the vodka idea! I may have to use that! Wait…what? Hey, look! A question to distract you! What did you want to be when you grew up?
MM: I wanted to be an actress. I felt so much pressure to decide on just ONE thing to do for my ENTIRE life. In acting, you are substantially exposed to diverse professions and that sounded good to me. Plus I wanted people to like me.
HOSR: Okay, Sally Field: “You like me! You really like me!” Aspirations of acting aside, at what point did you consider yourself a writer?
MM: Hmmm…. This is a tough question. I always thought that only once I made money doing it, would I actually be able to claim myself as one. However, I started writing at a very young age, so I am going to say 8.
HOSR: When I was eight, I was planning very elaborate weddings with my Barbie dolls. You were a much cooler eight-year-old than I was. So, I’m curious, because I just am, name three people you’d like to be trapped in an elevator with, and who would you eat first if your predicament became dire?
MM: Jeff Buckley – you never specified dead or alive. Hopefully he’d have a guitar with him. Boromir from Lord of the Rings, so I could hear him say things like “One does not simply walk into Mordor.” Houdini, so he could help us escape creatively; therefore also eliminating the need to eat anyone because that would get really messy.
HOSR: Marda, we have discussed our mutual infatuation with Buckley, so I approve of your first answer. The other two are terrible answers, and I really want to leave. However, I have misplaced my car keys. Have you seen them?
MM: Yeah, I think Harley put them in her pants.
HOSR: There are two constants in life: it always rains after you wash your car, and if you lose something, always check Harley May’s pants. Hey, here’s a random question since I lost my damn keys and can’t leave now: Do you ever write under the influence of any hallucinogens or alcohol to heighten your creative edge?
MM: No way Jose. I have a hard enough time focusing as it is – in the last 10 minutes I have checked my email six times, Facebook twice and Twitter three times – so anything that adds to my natural proclivity to distraction, is absolutely banished from my writing time.
HOSR: Marda! Look! A baby bunny! What/who inspires you to write?
MM: Music inspires me more than anything else. When I write, I NEED to be listening to music. I am an inherent observer, which is splendid because I am incapable of being bored. No matter where I go, I am constantly entertained and inspired by what is happening around me. This makes my mind happy because it gets to exploit people and get away with it.
HOSR: I knew I liked you for a reason. I am the same way. I wish we had met far earlier in life. Having said that, what were you like in high school?
MM: Not nearly as cool as I thought I was at the time. High school sucked, except for drama class which is where I learned to not care what other people thought of me. Being forced to literally step out on stage and perform in front of others was an exceedingly liberating experience that crushed all of my self-doubt. I was also a book nerd and spent a lot of time in the library.
HOSR: Isn’t that the truth? Looking back at my high school days, I considered myself to be the stereotypical band/drama/speech team neard, but now? I think I was pretty awesome. Anyway, thank you so much, Marda, for taking time to answer these questions. I’ll let you get back to your hockey and ADD fueled social networking.
Marda Miller hails from Vancouver, British Columbia (that’s in Canada, kids), and while not busy continuously tweeting about her love for the Vancouver Canucks hockey team, she is dominating the world with her sock-it-to-me writing. If you like what you see here on HeartOnSleeve Review, please do yourselves a favor and check out her personal site: www.mardamiller.com.