May 3, 2011 by polishsnausage
One year ago today, I was cheating on my husband. I’m not bragging, boasting, or proud of this; I’m stating a fact.
Our marriage was all but over, emotionally and physically, and I did what any hot-blooded woman would do, or at least I tell myself that in a futile effort to make myself feel better. I was not getting the attention or affection I so desperately craved from the man I married, so I turned to a friend. A friend who told me I was beautiful, that I was smart, sexy, and I needed a man, not a boy.
We never had sex. I wanted to, and so did he, but in the throes of passion, he’d stop, say, “Jesus Christ…you’re still married,” and look at me with disgust. As if the guilt of what I was doing wasn’t enough…
We cooled down after that. He found a girlfriend, but she lived in a different city, so when he was seeking attention, I’d be the first on his list to call.
“Hey. Want to come over?”
Mostly, we’d sit in his living room, drinking beer, while he fiddled on his computer and I pretended to watch television. I would sneak glances his way, staring at him for a few minutes, until he would look up and I’d quickly turn my head the other direction.
We had “The Talk” one day. “The Talk” involved him telling me he can’t continue what we were doing, because things were starting to get serious between him and his new girlfriend.
We parted ways, he to her, and me to the man I married. I never told my husband about my affair, but he’s a smart man; I’m sure he figured it out. Then, he and I had our own talk about what was happening between us, and that maybe it was best to separate before things got too out-of-control between us and we ended up resenting and hating each other.
He has a girlfriend now. She’s lovely. They seem right for each other, and this is all I could ask for him. His happiness has always been a priority for me, even now, nearly one year apart.
We still see one another occasionally; it’s a small city and we still frequent the same venues around town. I asked him how he was doing these days, how his life was, how work was. You know, the same menial small chat that couples have with each other when they run out of real conversation. He said life was good, and that most importantly, he was good.